10 Questions to Start Deep Conversations in French

Aug 2

Introduction: Beyond “Ça va ?” — Unlocking Real Connection in French

You’ve studied the grammar. You’ve memorized the vocabulary. You can navigate small talk, order a baguette, ask for directions, and say you’re doing well (ça va très bien, merci). But what happens when you want to go beyond the basics—when you want to have a real conversation in French?

The kind where someone leans in. The kind where you share a moment of truth, a point of view, a piece of who you are.

That’s where things get exciting—and where many learners feel stuck.

French culture values depth, reflection, and philosophical thinking. It’s a culture where books, politics, existential questions, and emotions are part of dinner-table conversation. But stepping into that level of dialogue in a foreign language can feel intimidating.

How do you ask someone about their values without sounding robotic? How do you express curiosity without overstepping boundaries? And how do you build the vocabulary and confidence to speak from the heart, not just the phrasebook?

The answer is simple but powerful: ask better questions.

Asking deep, open-ended questions in French does two things:

It shows you care about the person you’re talking to—not just practicing your language.
It invites thoughtful, authentic conversation that builds trust, fluency, and friendship.

In this article, we’ll give you ten conversation-starting questions that go far beyond “Tu fais quoi dans la vie ?” (What do you do for work?)—plus the language tools and cultural context you need to use them confidently.

Whether you’re chatting with a language partner, bonding with French-speaking friends, or just eager to break past the surface level, these questions will help you unlock the kind of French that’s full of soul, not just syntax.

1. Pourquoi as-tu choisi de vivre ici ?

Why did you choose to live here?

This question is warm, open-ended, and full of possibilities. Whether someone is in Paris, Marseille, or Montreal, you invite them to tell their personal story: family, work, love, or simply a feeling that the city “fit.”

Follow-up vocabulary:

J’ai toujours rêvé de… – I always dreamed of...
C’est un endroit qui me ressemble. – It’s a place that feels like me.

2. Qu’est-ce qui te rend vraiment heureux(se) ?

What truly makes you happy?

Simple, yes—but surprisingly powerful. This question often reveals passions, values, and surprises. It invites emotion without being invasive.

Tips:

Use “vraiment” (really) to signal sincerity.
Watch body language—this question often brings a smile.

3. Y a-t-il une personne qui a changé ta vie ?

Is there someone who changed your life?

This question leads to stories: a mentor, a parent, a friend, or even a stranger. It opens the door to memories and meaning.

Useful expressions:

Grâce à lui/elle… – Thanks to him/her...
Il/elle m’a appris que… – They taught me that...

4. Si tu pouvais recommencer quelque chose, ce serait quoi ?

If you could redo something, what would it be?

A classic “deep talk” question that invites reflection—without judgment. It builds vulnerability and connection.

Structure tip:

Use the conditional: je referais, je choisirais, je dirais…

5. Quelle est la chose la plus importante que tu aies apprise jusqu’à maintenant ?

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned so far?

This phrasing uses the subjunctive—a nice bonus for learners wanting to sound more advanced. It’s philosophical, but not too heavy.

Language tip:

J’ai appris à… – I’ve learned to...
Ce que j’ai compris avec le temps… – What I’ve come to understand...

6. Comment définis-tu le bonheur ?

How do you define happiness?

This is a very French question. It invites abstraction, big-picture thinking, and personal philosophy. It’s not about giving a “right” answer—it’s about exploring ideas.

Bonus:

French speakers often enjoy “meta” questions like this. It’s not unusual to hear it over wine.

7. Qu’est-ce que tu trouves difficile dans la vie ?

What do you find difficult in life?

This is a question of empathy. It encourages honesty and opens the door for shared experiences. It can be as light or serious as the person wants.

Softeners:

Tu n’es pas obligé(e) de répondre si tu ne veux pas. – You don’t have to answer if you’d rather not.
C’est une question un peu personnelle… – It’s a bit personal...

8. As-tu déjà vécu un moment qui a changé ta façon de voir le monde ?

Have you ever experienced a moment that changed how you see the world?

This is a great storytelling prompt and works especially well with people who have traveled or gone through major life changes.

Useful connectors:

Ce jour-là… – That day...
Depuis ce moment… – Since that moment...

9. Quelle est ta plus grande peur ?

What’s your biggest fear?

This question is intimate, and should be asked with care—but it can spark very real conversations. Use it when trust is already in place.

Phrasing ideas:

J’ai toujours eu peur de… – I’ve always been afraid of...
Je crois que ma plus grande peur, c’est… – I think my biggest fear is...

10. Qu’est-ce que tu aimerais qu’on retienne de toi ?

What would you like to be remembered for?

The ultimate “legacy” question. French people are often surprisingly comfortable with talking about identity, memory, and death—not in a morbid way, but in a thoughtful, existential way.

This question invites someone to reflect on meaning.

How to Use These Questions Naturally

It’s not just about asking deep questions—it’s about how and when you ask.

🌱 Build gradually

Don’t start with “What’s your biggest fear?” as your icebreaker. Begin with easier questions and shift toward deeper ones as the conversation flows.

🎧 Be a good listener

Ask follow-up questions, show interest, and echo parts of what the other person says. That’s how real dialogue happens.

🧠 Be ready to share your own thoughts

These aren’t quiz questions. They work best when both people open up.

Benefits of Deep Conversations for Language Learning

Having real, heartfelt conversations in French does more than build relationships—it accelerates your fluency.

Here’s why:

You reuse key grammar structures (questions, past tenses, conditionals)
You build emotional vocabulary
You become more expressive and spontaneous
You connect words to emotions, which improves memory
You stop translating—and start thinking in French

In other words: deep conversations aren’t just meaningful. They’re one of the best ways to get fluent.

FAQs

Q: Are these questions too personal for a new friend or language partner?
Start light and build toward deeper questions. Always watch for cues and respect boundaries. But you might be surprised—many French speakers appreciate honest dialogue.

Q: What if I don’t understand their answer?
That’s okay! You can ask: Tu peux répéter ?, Comment tu veux dire ?, or C’est un mot que je ne connais pas.

Q: How can I learn to answer these questions myself?
Use a journal or language exchange. Practice writing out your responses. Then try saying them out loud or with a partner.

Q: Are these questions appropriate for formal settings?
Most are best for personal conversations. But slightly modified versions can work in professional or academic contexts if phrased politely.

Q: What grammar points do I need to know?
Many of these questions use conditionals, the subjunctive, and past tenses. Don't worry if you're not perfect—your curiosity matters more.

Q: How do I transition into asking deep questions without it feeling weird?
Use bridges like: Je me demandais…, C’est peut-être une question étrange, mais…, or Si tu veux bien répondre…

Q: Can I use these in writing too?
Absolutely! They work great in emails, letters, or journaling exercises as well.

Q: How can I remember these questions?
Create flashcards or a list in your phone. Or practice using one per conversation until they feel natural.

Start Speaking French from the Heart

At Polyglottist Language Academy, we don’t just teach you how to conjugate verbs—we teach you how to express yourself. Whether you’re a beginner or already conversational, our small, dynamic classes help you connect to the realFrench: human, expressive, thoughtful.

🗣️ In our conversation-focused classes, you’ll practice the kind of French that leads to friendship, connection, and authentic self-expression.

Ready to have deeper conversations in French?

👉 Visit our French classes page and sign up for our online or in-person French classes today.