French Etiquette 101: Do’s and Don’ts for Visitors
Visiting France? Learn the essential etiquette tips that will help you blend in like a local. A must-read for Bay Area travelers from Berkeley, San Francisco, Oakland, and San Jose.
Traveling to France isn’t just about booking your flight and brushing up on basic vocabulary. If you really want to enjoy your experience—and avoid social faux pas—you’ll need to get acquainted with French etiquette. This isn’t about memorizing rules or being perfect. It’s about showing respect, understanding local customs, and blending in with a culture that values nuance, manners, and quiet confidence.
Most visitors dream of strolling the streets of Paris, sipping espresso at a sidewalk café, or browsing an open-air market in Provence. But beneath the postcard moments lies a cultural rhythm that’s distinctly French. It's subtle, unspoken, and incredibly important. Understanding it can mean the difference between being treated like a clueless tourist or being welcomed like a savvy traveler.
Unlike some travel destinations where casual, anything-goes behavior is the norm, France carries itself with a certain understated elegance. It's not about snobbery—it's about tradition, respect, and social grace. Whether you're entering a shop, sharing a meal, or simply greeting someone on the street, how you behave matters. The good news? These behaviors aren't hard to learn. They just require a bit of awareness—and a willingness to adapt.
From the way you say hello to how you eat, shop, or walk down the street, the little things matter in France. And if you're a traveler from the San Francisco Bay Area—especially Berkeley, Oakland, San Francisco, or San Jose—you might be used to a laid-back, casual vibe that doesn’t quite align with French formality.
Don’t worry: you don’t need to become Parisian overnight. But learning the basics of French etiquette will make your trip smoother, your conversations warmer, and your interactions with locals far more enjoyable.
At Polyglottist Language Academy, we believe cultural fluency is just as important as linguistic fluency. That’s why our French classes for Bay Area learners always include cultural insights—like when to say bonjour, when vous is better than tu, and how to behave in a café. Because speaking the language is only half the experience. Understanding the rhythm of French life is the other half.
Ready to learn how to avoid sticking out (in a bad way) and start fitting in like a respectful traveler? Here’s your guide to French etiquette—dos, don’ts, and everything in between.
1. ALWAYS SAY “BONJOUR” 👋
✅ DO greet people properly
In France, greetings are everything. Whether you’re walking into a bakery, a boutique, or even asking someone for directions on the street, always begin with Bonjour (good day) or Bonsoir (good evening). It’s a signal that you acknowledge the other person’s presence and humanity—something highly valued in French society.
A proper greeting establishes a respectful tone and often leads to a more pleasant interaction. Even if you plan to speak English afterward, starting with a simple Bonjour makes a world of difference.
❌ DON’T jump into a question without a greeting
Imagine someone walking into your office and blurting out, “Where’s the restroom?” with no hello or eye contact. That’s how it feels to a French person when tourists skip greetings. A sudden demand—even polite—can come across as abrupt.
Bonus Tip:
In smaller shops or quieter towns, greetings and farewells are even more important. Say Bonjour Madame or Au revoir Monsieur and watch the friendliness increase instantly.
2. MIND YOUR FORMALITY 🙇
✅ DO use “vous” until invited to say “tu”
French has two forms of “you”: tu (informal) and vous (formal/plural). Using vous shows respect, especially with strangers, older people, and professionals. Switching too soon to tu can be seen as overly familiar.
If you’re in doubt, always start with vous. It’s better to be formal and then adapt. Most French people will kindly invite you to use tu when they feel comfortable.
❌ DON’T assume familiarity
Even in casual settings, using tu without being invited can offend. This isn’t about being stiff or uptight—it’s about respecting boundaries until mutual comfort is established.
Pro tip: In cafés or shops, keep things courteous and stick to vous. Among peers at a party? You might hear, “On peut se tutoyer ?” (Shall we use tu?).
3. UNDERSTAND LA BISE (THE KISS) 💋
✅ DO wait for cues
La bise (the cheek kiss) is a common form of greeting between friends or acquaintances, but it’s not for everyone, and not in every situation. Follow the local’s lead. In informal settings, such as meeting someone’s family or joining a group of friends, you may be expected to give or receive la bise.
If you're unsure, it’s perfectly acceptable to offer a handshake or simply smile warmly.
❌ DON’T force cheek kisses
Not every French person wants a kiss from a tourist. In formal situations or professional environments, a handshake is more appropriate. Also, the number of kisses varies by region—some places do two, others three or four!
Fun Fact:
French people have internal GPS when it comes to regional bise customs. Just ask your hosts: “Combien de bises ici ?” and they’ll smile at your cultural savvy.
4. DINING DOS AND DON’TS 🍽️
✅ DO keep hands visible
Keep your wrists on the table—not your elbows—and never let your hands rest in your lap during a meal. This is a cultural standard that communicates attention and engagement.
Also, use utensils for everything—even pizza or fries in many places. Knife in the right hand, fork in the left, European-style.
❌ DON’T start eating before everyone is served
Wait until everyone at the table has their food, and the host says Bon appétit before you begin eating. Jumping the gun is seen as impolite.
✅ DO say “merci” and compliment the food
A sincere C’est délicieux or Merci pour ce repas is appreciated and adds to the good vibe at the table. Don’t overdo it, but do express gratitude.
5. CAFE CULTURE RULES ☕
✅ DO treat cafés like mini sanctuaries
Whether you’re enjoying a quick espresso at the bar or sipping a café crème on a terrace, there’s a rhythm to French café culture. People savor their coffee, people-watch, read, or chat quietly.
Take your time. No one will rush you. And yes, you can sit for hours with a single drink.
❌ DON’T expect fast service
French café servers won’t come check on you constantly. Want to order? Make eye contact. Ready to pay? Say L’addition, s’il vous plaît. Don’t wave or snap your fingers—just a calm glance will do.
6. SHOPPING ETIQUETTE 🛍️
✅ DO greet staff when entering a store
The rule of greetings continues in retail settings. A polite Bonjour as you enter, and a Merci, au revoir when leaving, even if you didn’t buy anything, shows basic courtesy.
In smaller boutiques or markets, the staff may offer to help immediately. A friendly Je regarde, merci (I’m just looking, thank you) is a great way to browse politely.
❌ DON’T handle merchandise without asking
Especially in artisan shops or open-air markets. Many vendors prefer you ask before touching items. A quick Je peux toucher ? (May I touch?) demonstrates respect for their work.
✅ DO ask before bargaining
While bargaining is uncommon in most French stores, it might be acceptable at flea markets. Do so politely and with a smile. And if the vendor says no—accept it graciously.
7. DRESS THE PART 👗
✅ DO dress slightly more formally
In France, fashion is an unspoken form of communication. You don’t need to be flashy, but aim for clean, fitted, and coordinated clothing. A good pair of shoes and a scarf can elevate any outfit.
Dressing well is seen as a sign of self-respect and respect for others, especially in cities like Paris.
❌ DON’T wear flip-flops, loud logos, or wrinkled clothes
While comfy travel attire works in the airport, once you’re out in the city, avoid overly casual looks. Leave athletic wear for workouts and choose dark jeans over sweatpants.
Even when dressed casually, the French maintain polish and neatness. Think effortless elegance, not tourist comfort.
8. ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT 🚇
✅ DO greet the bus driver
In smaller towns, a Bonjour to the bus driver is common courtesy. In cities, it’s less expected but still appreciated.
Respect for personal space is huge in France. Keep to your seat, move aside for others, and give up your seat to elderly passengers without hesitation.
❌ DON’T speak loudly
Keep conversations and phone calls quiet. Americans often stand out due to volume—tone it down and blend in.
Also avoid spreading out your belongings. Keep your bags on your lap or the floor, not the adjacent seat.
9. TIPPING CULTURE 💶
✅ DO round up or leave a small coin
In France, tipping is less obligatory than in the U.S. A service charge is included in most restaurant bills. Still, leaving €1–2 or rounding up shows appreciation.
In cafés or casual spots, it’s common to leave the change. In fine dining, a bit more (5–10%) is nice but not required.
❌ DON’T tip like in the U.S.
Tipping 20% might feel generous, but it’s not necessary. It can even seem like you're showing off or not understanding the custom.
Tip modestly and sincerely. It’s the gesture that counts.
10. LEARN BASIC FRENCH PHRASES 📖
✅ DO use simple French
Just a few words can earn big smiles. Try:
Bonjour (Hello)
Merci (Thank you)
Excusez-moi (Excuse me)
Parlez-vous anglais ? (Do you speak English?)
Using French shows you’re trying—and people appreciate the effort.
❌ DON’T assume everyone speaks English
Start in French and gauge their response. Most people will switch to English if they can, but your attempt at French sets the right tone.
If you’re not sure, try: Je parle un peu français (I speak a little French). It’s humble and honest.
FOR BAY AREA TRAVELERS: WHAT TO EXPECT ✈️
If you’re coming from Berkeley, San Francisco, Oakland, or San Jose, you’re used to an easygoing, multicultural vibe. France might feel more structured, reserved, and formal at first. That’s okay—it’s not coldness, it’s just the culture.
Once you tune in to the rhythm—greetings, formality, quieter tones—you’ll find the French are deeply welcoming, funny, and open to real conversation.
Blend in by observing, adapting, and respecting the little details. You'll be amazed at how doors open up—literally and figuratively.
POLYGLOTTIST LANGUAGE ACADEMY: LEARN FRENCH WITH US 🗣️
Want to feel confident before your flight? At Polyglottist Language Academy, we specialize in travel-friendly French for Bay Area residents. Whether you're planning your first trip or your fifth, our classes give you:
Real-life vocabulary and etiquette tips
Cultural context that builds confidence
Interactive practice with friendly instructors
We offer both in-person courses in Berkeley and virtual classes for San Francisco, Oakland, San Jose, and beyond.
Join us to learn how to blend in, connect, and enjoy your France adventure the smart way.
👉 Sign up today and prepare for a more authentic and respectful travel experience.
FAQs 🤔
Q: Do I need to speak fluent French to follow French etiquette?
A: Not at all. Just a few key phrases and gestures of politeness go a long way.
Q: Is it rude to speak English in France?
A: Not if you ask politely first. Start in French and ask if they speak English.
Q: What if I accidentally use “tu” instead of “vous”?
A: Don’t panic! People are forgiving if you’re polite and learning.
Q: Do your classes cover etiquette?
A: Absolutely. We integrate cultural etiquette into our language lessons.
Q: Can I practice these rules in class?
A: Yes! We role-play real-life scenarios like shopping, dining, and travel.
Q: Are these customs the same in all parts of France?
A: Not exactly. Rural areas may be more traditional, while cities are more relaxed.
Q: How long does it take to feel confident in French etiquette?
A: With the right guidance, just a few weeks of learning can make a big difference.
Q: Can I take a crash course before my trip?
A: Yes! We offer short-term French for Travel classes year-round.