Why Italians Think Americans Are Always in a Hurry (And Other Surprises)
Introduction: A Race Against Time or a Stroll Through Life?
Imagine you’re an American tourist in Rome. You sit down at a charming outdoor café, order a cappuccino, and after five minutes start tapping your foot impatiently, wondering why the waiter hasn't brought your check yet. Meanwhile, the Italians around you are leisurely sipping their coffee, chatting animatedly, not a hint of urgency in sight. You check your watch. Why is everything moving so slowly?
Or flip the scene: you’re an Italian visiting New York City. You’re marveling at the towering skyscrapers when someone bumps into you on the sidewalk without even a glance. At the cafe, you barely sit down before the waiter asks if you're ready to order — and the bill comes unprompted just as you take your last bite. You feel rushed, almost hurried out of the experience.
"Why are Americans always in such a rush?" you wonder.
These little moments capture one of the most charming (and occasionally baffling) cultural differences between Italians and Americans: their relationship to time. But that's just the beginning. From dining habits to social etiquette, Italians and Americans often view the world through very different lenses. In this article, we’ll dive into why Italians often see Americans as perpetually in a hurry — and explore other delightful cultural surprises along the way.
The American Love Affair with Speed
Americans are proud of their efficiency. Fast service, quick decision-making, and productivity are often seen as virtues.
Drive-throughs and takeaway coffee are everyday conveniences.
Lunch breaks are short; eating "on the go" is normal.
Success is often measured by how much you can accomplish in a day.
The American cultural ethos values movement, growth, and achievement. Being busy is often seen as a status symbol, a sign of being in demand and important.
Example: In many U.S. cities, asking for a "to-go" box is routine. You’re expected to finish quickly and clear the table for the next customer.
This ingrained speed can bewilder Italians, who often associate quality with taking one's time.
Italian Time: Living in the Moment
In Italy, time is a companion, not a master.
Meals are slow, multi-course events meant to be savored.
Coffee is sipped standing at a bar, but the conversation may linger.
Personal interactions are valued over efficiency.
Italians see time as something to enjoy, not conquer. A long, leisurely meal or a meandering conversation isn’t a waste — it’s a reward.
Example: In Italy, if you’re still sitting two hours after finishing your meal, the waiter won’t rush you. In fact, asking for the check too quickly can seem rude, as if you didn’t enjoy yourself.
This difference often leads Italians to see Americans as impatient or disconnected from "la dolce vita" — the sweet life.
Dining Out: A Lesson in Priorities
American Approach:
Quick service is valued.
Waiters often bring the bill without being asked.
Meals can feel transactional.
Italian Approach:
Meals are an experience, not a transaction.
The bill comes only when requested (“Il conto, per favore.”)
Dining is about connection and enjoyment.
To Italians, rushing through a meal is almost tragic. Sharing food is sharing life. Eating quickly signals that you're too distracted to enjoy the moment.
Tip for Americans: When in Italy, slow down. Don’t expect "fast food" service at a sit-down restaurant — and don't take it personally. You’re invited to savor every bite and every conversation.
Walking and Talking: Fast vs. Meandering
In America: Walking is often goal-oriented. Get from point A to B as quickly as possible.
In Italy: A walk (or "passeggiata") is an end in itself. In the evenings, Italians stroll through town squares, greeting friends, window shopping, and enjoying life.
An American might be power-walking to the next tourist stop. An Italian is enjoying the journey itself.
Example: In Florence, you’ll see couples, families, and elderly friends strolling arm in arm, often without a clear destination.
Surprise: Slowing down can actually make your experience richer, opening doors to spontaneous conversations, hidden cafés, and unforgettable moments.
Work and Leisure: Different Definitions of "Balance"
Americans:
Work often takes precedence.
Vacation time is limited; two weeks per year is typical.
Being "busy" is worn like a badge of honor.
Italians:
Leisure is a right, not a luxury.
Italy mandates generous vacation time, often taking the entire month of August off.
Life outside of work is considered essential to well-being.
The American hustle culture seems intense to Italians, who prioritize life’s simple pleasures. To many Italians, working nonstop is not a sign of success, but of imbalance.
Tip: If you're visiting Italy for business, don't be surprised if meetings are scheduled around long lunches — or if your Italian colleagues take the entire month of August off for "ferie" (vacation).
Coffee Culture Clash
American Coffee:
Supersized cups.
To-go culture.
Coffee as fuel.
Italian Coffee:
Tiny, perfect espressos.
Drunk quickly at the bar.
Coffee as a ritual.
Ordering a giant iced latte to sip for hours would bewilder an Italian barista. Coffee is meant to be enjoyed fresh, in the moment — a quick pause in your day, not an ongoing activity.
Example: Order a cappuccino after 11 a.m. in Italy, and you might get a raised eyebrow. Cappuccinos are considered a breakfast drink, not an afternoon refreshment.
Communication: Efficiency vs. Expression
Americans:
Direct, efficient communication.
Focus on results.
Italians:
Expressive, animated conversations.
Focus on relationships and feelings.
Italians may spend 20 minutes discussing where to go for dinner, delighting in the back-and-forth. Americans might prefer a quick decision and move on.
The Italian way values the joy of interaction itself, not just the outcome.
Tip: When speaking with Italians, expect and enjoy detours in the conversation. It’s not about wasting time — it's about building connection.
Shopping: Browsing vs. Buying
American Shopping:
Quick, efficient.
Self-service emphasis.
Italian Shopping:
Personalized service.
Browsing and chatting encouraged.
In Italian boutiques, shopkeepers are attentive and often engage in conversation. They might offer suggestions, discuss the quality of materials, or even offer a coffee.
Rushing through a shop might come across as disinterest or even rudeness.
Tip: Slow down. Appreciate the experience. Enjoy the small talk. Even if you don't buy anything, the interaction itself is valued.
The Italian Concept of "Dolce Far Niente"
"Il dolce far niente" — the sweetness of doing nothing — is a treasured idea in Italy.
It's okay to sit in a piazza with no agenda.
It's okay to linger over lunch for three hours.
It's okay to simply "be," without needing to "do."
To Americans, this might feel like wasting time. To Italians, it's savoring life itself.
Example: In Tuscany, it’s common to see families spending an entire Sunday together, eating, laughing, napping — without a single "productive" activity in sight.
Learning to embrace "dolce far niente" can be life-changing for Americans accustomed to hustle culture.
How to Adapt and Enjoy
If you're an American visiting Italy (or just curious), here are some simple ways to adjust and enjoy:
Slow down. Allow extra time for meals, conversations, and experiences.
Be present. Put away your phone and savor the moment.
Embrace leisure. Understand that downtime isn't laziness — it's living.
Learn basic Italian phrases. Even a simple "Buongiorno" can open hearts.
Don't expect efficiency everywhere. In Italy, quality and connection often trump speed.
Opening yourself to the Italian way can deepen your travel experiences and even change how you view time and success at home.
Conclusion: Two Rhythms, One Beautiful Dance
Americans and Italians move through life to very different rhythms. Americans march to a fast, efficient beat, eager to accomplish and achieve. Italians dance to a slower, more melodic tune, savoring every note.
Neither way is right or wrong. Each offers lessons for the other: efficiency and ambition from America; presence, pleasure, and connection from Italy.
By recognizing these differences, we can move beyond frustration and into appreciation. We can learn to adapt, to savor, to connect — and maybe even find a balance between urgency and joy.
And if you're eager to not just travel to Italy but to truly live the Italian experience, Polyglottist Language Academyoffers Italian courses that dive deep into both language and culture. Learn more about our programs here and start your journey toward "la dolce vita."